loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
