Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
