so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
