i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
