yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
