Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
