I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
