i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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