I want to walk on stilts...naked
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
