Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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