Cold hands, warm shart.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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