A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
