Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
love makes seman taste better
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
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