remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
