we have officially lost it.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
