It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
