He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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