your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
