also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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