How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
