I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
