Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
