I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
