You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
