great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
