turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
