You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
