All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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