therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
