I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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