i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
