no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
