She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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