Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
