I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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