i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
