I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
