I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
