So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
