mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
