New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
