Yo dont text me then not text me
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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