I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
