it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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