is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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