Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
