Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
