I should be sponsored by Trojan
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
