i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You may now shotgun with the bride
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
