I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
